Hey now, it wasn’t ALL that bad.  I mean… well, all right, it wasn’t pretty.  But before we look at the (many) warts from last night’s game, let’s take a look at the bright side of life.

The Good:

-  Andy Dalton bounced back from probably the worst start that a Bengals fan could imagine.  Really, Dalton’s first two passes were his worst.  After that, every time he had a chance to throw the ball, he threw very accurately.  Even the incompletion to Jerome Simpson was a nice throw that Simpson did catch, but he was pushed out of bounds.  A lesser person would’ve caved after throwing an INT on his first professional throw, but Dalton didn’t lose his head and he bounced back nicely.  I like him.  He at least wants to be a Bengal.  I think.

- Cedric Benson:  Running with purpose.  The dude had some nice runs.  I don’t know if he saw any cops running after him or not, but he looked quick, fast, strong like bull.  I like him.

-  Receivers:  A.J. Green, Jerome Simpson, Jordan Shipley, Jermaine Gresham — all of these guys caught all the balls that were thrown within their vicinity.  Simpson needs to make sure he keeps his mouth shut and let his play do the talking, but he played really well, including a good block for A.J. Green.

The Bad:

-  Defense:  Looked looser than the girls that The Situation goes after.  Really.  Really.  Really. Bad.  Not much pressure on the QB.  Matthew Stafford abused the Bengals secondary like Anthony Munoz abuses his announcing duties (if you didn’t watch the game… your life has been enriched (did I have to tell you that?  No, not really).  But seriously, Munoz had this gem: “Dan Skuta… well, he’s just skootin’ along.  Skootin’ Skuta.  He’s just skootin’ along.”  Baaaaaaaaaaaaarf!!!!  I love ya’, Munoz, but… make sure your Furniture Fair contract doesn’t run out soon).   The defense had a few good stops… sprinkled in with some wince-inducing gaffes.  They need to perform better.

- Bruce Gradkowski:  Not giving us much hope over Dalton.  He did make a few good throws, and in all fairness he didn’t have much time to throw the ball at times.  Still, the Bengals probably won’t be making the playoffs with either QB, so you might as well start the rook.

-  Mike “Ted” Nugent:  You make the 42 yard once, but you can’t make it again when it counts?  Booooooo!

- Flags:  Granted, the Lions got flagged more in the first half (because they’re a bunch of douchebag, meanie thugs and their mother dresses them funny!), but the Bengals had some plays called back by flags.  What hurt the most was during the one actually good drive that the Bengals had.  Brian Leonard had a nice catch-and-run negated by a holding call.  The call was questionable, but it still pissed me off.  And that’s all that matters.

The M’eh:

-  Offensive Line:  Some solid protection, and then not so solid protection.  Anthony Munoz definitely pointed out a time where Andre Smith missed a chance to level a defensive back.  Smith gave him a love-tap shove that would’ve been awesome if this were flag football.  The line also gave up a sack within the first 0.2 seconds after the ball was snapped when Dalton was the QB.  You can’t have your rookie QB being body slammed into the ground every other play.  The line needs to perform better.

The Ugly:

-  Really, you’re going to fumble the kickoff, whoever the hell you were? Nameless GD rookie.  Really?  I mean, damn.  Once he lost that ball, it didn’t even phase me.  I gave a little chuckle.  It’s just another Bungled play by the Bengals.

-  The Sequence:  INT, Overthrow, Sack.  Really inauspicious beginning to Dalton’s career.  But as noted above, he did bounce back.

-  The Bengals did everything they could to justify their number 32 ranking by ESPN.  But it’s just the preseason, and I like the poise that Dalton showed after the horrendous start.  The defense needs to step it up or this will be a looooong season.

If you have an questions, comments, suggestions, complaints, you can email David Jacob at djacob@gearupforsports.com. You can also join his facebook group, and/or follow him at http://twitter.com/HoldenCarraway.