A.J. Green is now a Bengal.

The Bengals chose phenomenal WR A.J. Green for their first pick of the draft.  Some of the draft analysts said that this is a last ditch effort to draw Carson Palmer back to Cincinnati.  If this is a last ditch effort to get Carson, which I wouldn’t put pass the Bengals to do so, then this is like the last ditch effort in the movie Armageddon.   You know what I mean?  The asteroid, or whatever the hell it was, is about to explode, and Steve Buscemi’s character says about 500 thousand times (roughly) that they had to leave or they will die, but somehow they were still okay even though each time he says it it’s like they will really die right then.  They’re called movies, folks.  This kind of crap doesn’t happen in real life.  Just like Carson ain’t coming back to Cincy.

Anyway, since everyone and his brother said that the Bengals would select A.J. Green with their fourth pick of the draft, this selection wasn’t very shocking, and I made my peace with it a long time ago.  I wasn’t upset at all… until I heard about the Browns traded their pick to the Atlanta Falcons.  At first I thought, Good for them.  Make a deal.  Help out your team.  And stuff.  THEN I heard that the stupid bleeping Bengals themselves actually had a deal in place with the effin’ Falcons, but it fell through at the last second.  I didn’t care all that much until I saw what the Browns got in their deal:

1.  The Falcons’ first round, 2nd round, and fourth round picks for 2011.

2.  The Falcons’ first round and fourth round pick for 2012.

What the bleeping hell?  How could the Bengals pass up a deal that had to be at the very least comparable to what the Browns got?  What the hell did Mike Brown want?  The first born child of the Falcons’ future first round draft picks for the next 10 years?  I just don’t see how the Bengals could pass up such a good deal.  It probably fell apart because Mike Brown suddenly realized how big of a douchebag he is.  (Ah, I forgot I need to be screwing the Bengals, not helping them out.)

Don’t get me wrong, I’m cool with picking A.J. Green for the Bengals.  He’s the best receiver in the draft, has great hands, and blah blah blah.  After the Bengals picked Green, they posted his strengths and weaknesses.  Under weaknesses it said, None.  That’s a good trait to have, you know, No Weaknesses.  I’d like to put that on my resume: I really am just perfect, thanks.  My wife, being the smart and beautiful woman that she is, had a pretty witty comment: Number one weakness for A.J. Green: Can’t throw ball to himself.

Speaking of which, the predicted run on QBs in the first round of the draft is going on strong.  I had a mini-heart attack when Miami was on board, and I thought they would choose Andy Dalton.  I mean, when Christian Ponder went to Minnesota, I thought the Bengals were screwed.  They still have a chance.  I guess I will have to update the blog when I find out.  It may not be until Friday.  I’m hoping the Bengals can trade back up to the first round to get Dalton.  We’ll see.