I understand fans not renewing their season tickets to the Bengals.  I mean, watching the Bengals play football is an exercise in torture.  Whenever the Bengals snap the football, more often than not you’re just holding your breath, hoping that nothing disastrous happens.  And more often than not, something disastrous does happen.  Or something fantastic happens, only to be nullified by a penalty.  Yet Play after Play, there is always Hope.  After this Sunday, I think Hope may be permanently gone.

I, unfortunately, am one of the fans who has chosen not to renew his tickets.  And it wasn’t necessarily by choice.  The other two gentlemen that I shared the tickets with did not want to renew, and I don’t quite have $1,400 to spend on pain and suffering for eight (nine?!) games.  But I had hope.  I thought Carson Palmer looked better the last few games, throwing to receivers who cared more about playing football than self-promotion.  I wanted to renew the tickets, but I faced reality and decided I could do something better with my money.  I still had hope, though.

When Marvin Lewis was rehired and Bob Bratkowski not fired, I still had hope.  I thought, well, they’re biding their time to fire Bratkowski, and, even if he stayed, things were going to be all right.

Now, my hope for next season has quickly vanished.

According to ESPN, Carson Palmer wants to be traded and he will retire if it is not granted.

Say it ain’t so, Carson.

Look, many fans would’ve bought his plane ticket out of Cincinnati after this season.  I’m not one of those fans.

Yes, he had many erratic throws.  Yes, his form didn’t look good at times.  Yes, he threw too many TDs to the other team.  However, I think there were too many factors involved in the whole passing game to dismiss Carson completely.  But to throw Carson out the window and start over with a new quarterback… Well, that just sucks.  Sure, anything can happen next season, but the chances of the Bengals of being successful under a rookie QB, or anyone else to be honest with you, are not very good at all.

Some cynics would say that the chances wouldn’t be good with Carson Palmer under center (or ever), but I would beg to differ.

But I digress.

What hurts the most about this revelation?

It’s a completely and utterly honest assessment of the state of Bengaldom.  Carson Palmer, the eternally optimistic leader, a guy who never threw anyone under the bus — no even when Chad Ochocinco was being an @$$ (which is a symbol for an ass) — a guy who thought we could win every game all the time, has given up on the Bengals… because they don’t want to change.  We’re not firing any coaches after a 4-12 season.  No heads are rolling.

Carson’s desire for a trade reminds me of a great-but-rocky relationship with a super hot girl.  You had your great times together (2005, parts of 2006, parts of 2010), and you had your difficult times (too many times to even think about).  But she was still hot (Carson still can make throws).  You thought you still had potential together and if you worked at it really hard, you could really have something together (Super Bowl?).  But after an acrimonious argument (2010 season), you promise you’ll change but you don’t.  You don’t talk to her for a few days and then you call back and leave a message.  No return call.  You call back.  Nothing.  You get a sinking feeling in your stomach.  Before you know it, she’s with another guy.  In your mind you’re like, “Oh man, I really wish I changed.  But wait!  You didn’t give me a chance!  C’mon now!”  But you could’ve changed the past 9 years and you didn’t.

This is how it feels.

I want you back, Carson Palmer.  I hope all these reports are full of dog doody.  I highly doubt they are, but it’s still shocking that such an eternally optimistic, stand-up guy would do that.  Only the Bengals could do this to Carson Palmer.

If he does want to be traded, I hope we get a decent draft pick for him.  However, with Carson Palmer coming off a couple of sub-par seasons, I don’t know if we can.  Sure, he showed more promise at the end of the season, but who knows?  Ideally, we would get a first-round draft pick for Carson.  That would be awesome.  That would mean that we could get two first round draft picks, and then we could pick up one of the highly touted QBs (Blain Gabbert, Ryan Mallett, Cam Newton, or Jake Locker) along with a stud defensive player.

On the other hand, the best case scenario in all of this, is the random hope that Carson’s lobbying to be traded or retire will get Actual Change implemented in the Bengals.  I mean, I’m not talking about getting an actual GM or a new, saner owner.  Maybe Carson wants a new offensive coordinator and this is his not-so-subtle way of saying, “Um, how about something different, guys?”

That scenario, however, sounds a little far-fetched.

I never want to say that there’s no hope for the Bengals… but starting over at QB almost guarantees a rough season.  The Bengals could rely on its running game along with a rejuvenated defense to win games, a la 2009, but who knows what will happen.  Hell, there might not even be a 2011 season due to the idiots arguing over the CBA.

Despite all of Palmer’s short comings, I just hope this is all a lie and that Carson Palmer will return next season.  I mean, I have his jersey and a football signed by him, which just so happens to be the only signed item that I own from any celebrity whatsover.

This just seems to be another disappointing chapter in the depressing book that is the Bengals.  It feels like a punch in your gut.  The one guy you thought you could count on and he doesn’t want to help you out anymore.  Such is Bengals life.