At the beginning of training camp, if you asked me who would’ve been ready to practice sooner, Antonio Bryant or Andre “I’m So Fat and Lazy I Make Rosie ODonnel Look Like Paris Hilton” Smith, I would’ve bet my friend-who’s-a-Steelers-fan’s mom (sorry J.C.) that it would’ve been Bryant.

I was wrong.

Fat Boy Smith, or better yet, First-Round Waste of Space, actually practiced today and proclaimed that he should be ready soon. The coaches were not as optimistic, because they have actual intelligence.

Okay, I am being pretty harsh, considering the last blog I wrote I had the title “Smith might not suck as much,” but I still think he sucks. I do hope he gets his fat ass ready sooner than later and prove everyone wrong, but I’ll see it when I believe it.

Anyway, ProFootballTalk.com had this article about how the Bengals might reach an injury settlement with Antonio Bryant yesterday, and my initial reaction was this:

Why the hell not?

Hey, I’m not an Antonio Bryant hater, even though I barely had a clue this guy existed outside of my opposing fantasy-football team roster. When I did some cursory research about Bryant after we signed him, it looked like he had some great potential. And I was pretty stoked that we could have Chad Ochcinco, Terrell Owens, and Bryant on the same team, BUT…

Bryant has yet to practice since the first day, and he pretty much limped through that practice anyway. It’s not like he’s Fat Boy Smith, who just has to lose some extra tonage and get into football shape. I mean, sure, an offensive lineman needs to learn plays and whatnot, but no one can claim that an O-lineman has more work to do than a receiver. With the OL, if you have brute strength and are quick, you should be able to get up to speed quickly. With a receiver, you need to work on timing, routes, a rapport with the QB.

Of which Bryant has done zero work this preseason. Now, it’s not his fault. The dude is injured and no one wants to sit out of practice and eat twinkies all day…. (do I need to mention FBS?). Some fans want to blame the “Stupid Bungles” or “Dumb Mike Brown.”

I don’t know about that one, either. If anyone is to blame about the Byrant signing fiasco, it’s the GD trainers/physicians. Whoever the hell signed off on Bryant being physically fit to practice must’ve gone to the Simpsons’ Dr. Nick Medical School.

But then again, sometimes medicine isn’t all that precise, and an injury that “should” be healed by now for one person could be something entirely different for another.

At this point, why should the Bengals quibble? I’d say just pay the man to walk away, swallow some pride, and let some youngster make the roster.

Once again, I’m not a Bryant hater. If the dude was healthy from the beginning, it’s a no-brainer to keep him. But now? I have two words for you:

Jordan Shipley.

Shipley has only just impressed the hell out of every single person in the same area code as the one that he resides in. All the guy does is catch the GD ball. Shipley was huge on third downs on the Bengals first touchdown drive on Sunday against the Broncos. He led the team with 5 catches for 50 yards.  According to Paul Daugherty, Shipley dropped about 5 balls in his 4 years at Texas. He said maybe 10 or 15 total if you include practice. Ridiculous.

Carson Palmer is also a huge fan of Shipley. He called him one of the most intelligent rookies he has ever worked with. Shipley only needs to be told something once and he’s got it.

With Palmer developing a rapport with Shipley, and the fact that if you include Bryant on the team then there would be three receivers who would NOT play on special teams (that’s not good because you need special teamers), I’d say audios to Bryant right now. I have yet to hear anything about Bryant’s impending readiness for practice, which would mean he would almost certainly be out of Friday’s game, so then that would leave only two preseason games to get ready.

Sure, Bryant is a veteran, but all-veterans-not-named-Favre need time to get ready. And I can’t emphasize this enough: especially receivers. The passing game is based on timing and rhythm, and Bryant hasn’t had a chance to develop that with Palmer.

If you factor into the emergence of tight end Jermaine Gresham, who’s going to be a reliable, 6-5 target down the middle of the field for Palmer on every down, I just don’t see why Bryant would be a huge asset to the team.

With that said, if Bryant somehow gets cut, which I see is a 50/50 chance of happening, here’s how I see the receivers panning out:

1) Chad
2) T.O.
3) Shipley
4) Andre Caldwell: Some people are bitching that he hasn’t caught anything in the preseason, but he also hasn’t been thrown any balls that he could catch either; he’s going to make the team and if you think otherwise you’re just sorely mistaken
5) Jerome Simpson: He’s in the love-or-hate category for fans: either you love his potential, or you hate the fact that he’s been on the team for three years now and has had only one catch in a regular season game. I’d say you just can’t cut talent like his, especially since he’s shown improvement on route-running.
6) Complete Wild Card

You could make a case for Matt Jones, since he flashes some potential in the first preseason game. You could make a case for Quan Cosby, Mr. Special Teams Extraordinaire and Mr. Do Everything. You could make a case for Dez Briscoe, due to his upside and his ability to score touchdowns from college.

If I made the decision, I’d easily go for Briscoe, since our sixth receiver usually doesn’t even dress on Sundays, and if they place him on the practice squad he’ll be gone faster than a chocolate cake within 5 miles of Fat Boy Smith. Yes, Jones has experience, but if he’s no. 6, why waste it on somebody who won’t see much playing time and doesn’t have a ton of upside? Cosby would be hard to cut, but with Shipley and PacmanAdam Jones’ ability to return punts as well, I’d say his days are numbered.

It’ll be interesting to see.

If you have an questions, comments, suggestions, complaints, you can email David Jacob at djacob@gearupforsports.com.  You can also join his facebook group, and/or follow him at http://twitter.com/HoldenCarraway.