Well, not quite live per se (it is a blog entry, so that would be kind of tough), but I did attend the Bengals first training camp practice in scenic Georgetown, KY.

The practice itself wasn’t all too exciting. It seemed like the Bengals were just going over basic formation patterns with the offense and defense.

There was a decent-sized crowed to watch the action, but it was far from crowded. Part of it was probably because Terrell Owens did not practice until the evening.  The crowd was pretty quiet throughout, and the only time people really cheered was when Carson Palmer through a deep ball to Jerome Simpson and he made a nice diving catch.

I stood right in front of this very short, older lady, and once I realized I was blocking her view, I told her she can stand in front of me so she can see the entire practice. She told me that’s okay, and said, no lie, “That’s okay, hun, I don’t need to see everyone. I just need to see Chad Ochocinco.”

Yeah.

Apparently she became a bigger fan of Chad after she watched Dancing with the Stars. She didn’t think “he was as good looking as he is” until she watched the show… And he can move “really good”… Once again, she was an older lady, like 70. I just laughed.

A few random notes throughout the practice:

- Random guy: “Hey look, there’s #81. Is that T.O.?” No, it wasn’t. It was Antonio Byrant, who looked okay throughout practice, but I found out a few things afterward:

1. Bryant will sell T.O. his #81 and he will give that money to his charity in Miami. Bryant said that T.O. has a longer history with the number, and that Bryant has changed numbers throughout his career. Pretty magnanimous of Bryant, if you ask me. I like him already.

2. Bryant is happy that T.O. is here. He made the comment that if he were running this football team, he would have done the same thing. Football teams are meant to do one thing: win games (gasp!). Having more talent is better than less talent. I like Bryant even more.

3. Members of the media and all of these anonymous “NFL sources” must know my good friend. His name is Jack Schitt. They had asked Jack Schitt about why the Bengals signed T.O. and Jack Schitt tells them, “Well, it means that Bryant’s kneed must still be pretty bad, and they’re really disappointed with Bryant and think he’s already a bust even though he has yet to play a down for the Bengals.”

Look, I understand speculation and skepticism, and Bryant’s knee isn’t exactly 100 percent and he will sit out the second practice this evening… But it does piss me off how these “NFL sources” claim to know something when they just know my friend Jack Schitt. Who knows nothing, by the way. Why is it so shocking to sign a player who is a future Hall of Famer and who was endorsed highly by their star QB? Is it really all that baffling to sign MORE talent to your team, at a highly discounted price? All of these media members better stop talking to my friend Jack Schitt.

- Andre Smith…

I tried to find Andre Smith today on the field, and I kept asking people if they had seen him, and I got a bunch of no’s. Of course, if you can’t see Andre Smith, then he must not be within about a 50 miles of your eyesight. The dude is huge, is what I’m trying to get at.

It looks like Andre Smith did not rehab his foot as well as he should have He had the surgery back in February. Rehab is 10 weeks. It’s damn near August. I hate you, Andre Smith. Seriously, he’s got first-round bust written all over him. Man, if The Blind Side had come out before the draft, I think the Bengals coaches would’ve easily picked Michael Oher over the immature, lazy, tub-of-crispy-cream-donuts-and-god-knows-what-else, out-of-shape Smith. Yeah, Smith supposedly has talent, but talent is only good if you use it to your fullest potential. We are not getting this out of Smith.

Smith said he should be ready in 2-3 weeks, and he should be able to play in the last two preseason games. I would write him off, but we do some help at right tackle, so I’m just crossing my fingers and hope that Marvin Lewis chews his butt out (gross).

- Pacman Jones… is NOT bashful.

I got to training camp about a half an hour early, and I watched the players come out from underneath the stadium as I stood on the bleachers. All of a sudden this guy comes out and gives out a loud, inarticulate shout to no one in particular.  I see nothing but spandex on his lower half and I have to throw acid on my eyes…

Let’s just say Jones’ pants… was NOT leaving much to the imagination.

A funny story about Jones: At the end of practice when players were signing autographs, Jordan Shipley was standing close to me, signing away a bunch of kids’ footballs and stuff. And then Pacman comes running through the crowd and everyone is screaming his name and going berserk. And then it settles down quickly, and one guy says,

“Yeah, woo! Jordan Shipley too!”

Shipley smiles and says, “That’s right.”

It’s a cool moment (you had to be there).

- Autographs, Baby!

Rey Maualuga signing my football.

Rey Maualuga is a champ at signing autographs, that’s all I have to say. Once practice was over, he was the first guy to start signing autographs. Most other players started signing after him, and they did “spot signing,” i.e. sign a few here and there, move to the next section, sign a few more. Rey started at one end of the line and just worked his way down. He even signed my football. He was also sweaty as hell.

Proof that I was there!

I also got Carson Palmer to sign my football, which I was totally stoked about… I got one of our best defenders and the leader of the team? Sweeeeet!

That's Carson Palmer on the right, and I'm on the left.

I was going to give up getting more autographs, because of the crowds and such, but you literally were not allowed to leave the camp. They had blocked off all the exits while the players were signing autographs, so I stuck around and I got one more autograph.

#86.

I had no idea who that was, but I didn’t care at first… until I found out it was Daniel “I can’t catch the ball” Coats. Hey, the dude is a great blocker, so I’ll take him as a fullback or something, but someone needs to be fired if they even think of throwing it his way this year.

I was also very close to Chad Ochocinco when he was signing autographs… and so were a ton of other people. Once he came to my section, a throng of people converged and tried to cajole Chad into signing anything that they had. I tried to get his autograph, and after I knocked down four or five kids and three grandmothers to get closer… he was gone. I was so mad I punched a baby seal.

I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I just bunched a baby who had a Bengals helmet on, so no one was harmed. Much. Mwhahahahahaah.

Actual picture of my actual autographed football. Rey and Carson autographs? How sweet is that!

- Marvin didn’t want T.O.?

There has been some reports that say that Marvin Lewis had some reservations about bringing in T.O. to camp…

So?

Okay, everyone and his brother knows that owner Mike Brown trumps Marvin in any decision. This is no secret. And I can’t blame Marvin for not wanting to add another high-maintenance receiver, and then kicking to the curb some young and talented receivers. That, to me, is highly understandable. I’d like to see Dezmon Briscoe and/or Jerome Simpson both in Bengal strips, but one or both those guys will have to go.

The thing is, sometimes you just have to throw caution to the wind and say, Ah ‘eff it, and go for the gold. Take a risk. T.O. is a risk. He could blow up in the Bengals’ face.

I doubt it, though. T.O. has never been a problem in his first year as a receiver for a team. Subsequent years are subsequent years. We’re dealing with the here and the now and winning this year. Why take a gamble on an unknown quantity when you have a known quantity in T.O.?

I mean, right now we have three guys who have all been number one receivers on previous teams. There could be some egos bumping into each other, but both T.O. and Chad have matured, and Bryant has said all the right things. If the Bengals are winning, all of this is a moot point.

Anyway, great first day at camp.  Many lessons were learned.  Tears were shed.  No seals were punched.  And I saved the life of a Child Please.  Or not.  All I know is, the Bengals will be awesome this year.   They should be the best team since 1988, the last Super Bowl year.  Only time will tell.

If you have an questions, comments, suggestions, complaints, you can email David Jacob at djacob@gearupforsports.com. You can also join his facebook group, and/or follow him at http://twitter.com/HoldenCarraway.